It's taken us almost a year to finally use Cameron's (and Jordan's) very special snow sled! SO even though it was dark outside when we came home today, Cam and I went outside to play. He had a BALL and didn't want to come in for dinner. He demanded to go back out after dinner even though we said it was way too cold. About a minute later he came in and told his day: "You were right, it is cold out there."

I was so excited about the snow that Randy and I went to the store before picking up the kids to buy Cam a new pair of snow boots and snow socks. Very exciting stuff. So he was ready to go out and use them the moment we got home. Cam was so sad when he went to bed when he found out tomorrow wasn't a "family day." I promised him that he could play in the morning and Daddy would pick him up early from school so he can play in the afternoon. That seemed to ease his concerns.

I'm as excited about the snow as he is!!! It's been so long!


Tasmanian Devil

That's exactly what Cameron is when he loses control. Last night was probably the worst yet. He didn't want to go to bed and started being disrespectful to everyone... Even his grandparents. When his Grandma walked out of the bedroom before reading Cam a book because he was not respectful, all hell broke loose. I took over the bed time process and it was ugly. Think about The Exorcist. It was very similar. I won't go into the details... But Cam expected his grandparents to save him. And when he realized that wasn't going to happen, we were finally able to make ground on calming down.

When Cam woke up this morning, he apologized to his Grandma... Unprovoked. I know there's a wonderful kid underneath the insanity. I just pray for the strength to help get past the insanity.


Corny cornbread moment

I caught this moment between Randy and Cam as they were preparing Thanksgiving bread for our big newsroom feast.

I'm happy to say this is video proof that we're moving out of his insane anger mode and into a more loving, sweet mode. (Can I hear an amen?)


Tall socks and Santa

Santa and Cam
Originally uploaded by NerdyMom.
Cam got to see Santa over the weekiend. He was happy to tell the jolly guy about all the toys he wants... Including the Cars movie, a talking car from that movie and a Dino Mountain toy. We researched the dino toy and found out it's really good at breaking right after you build it, so we know that Santa will not want to buy that for Cam -- the boy who freaks out every time a toy collapses to the floor.

Anyway... funny story this morning. He was putting on tall white socks and announced: I have super hero boots on! Maybe you had to be there. But it made Randy and I laugh.


The beast needs taming

In the last week, Cam's tantrums and disrespect kicked into an even higher gear. It's bad enough that Randy and I were snipping at each other. No fun. None at all. So I'm trying to step away from Cam's craziness and try to look at life with his perspective.

Mommy is caring for Jordan all the time. Jordan is doing all kinds of cute things and everyone wants to talk about her and look at her. I want that kind of attention.

So... I'm trying to let him know that I understand. I've been the older sibling. I know that when you're older, you just don't attract the same kind of attention that babies do. It's hard to accept.

Tonight, Cam lost it over something... Lord knows what. But then he just started throwing around disrespectful words, screaming, pounding and begging me to do whatever is opposite what I just did or didn't do. It is mind-bending exhausting. Tonight I had Cam screaming and Jordan so hungry that every time I walked away from her high chair, she screamed. I'm trying to just let Cam break down away from me so I don't let him get me mad. Anger won't help. I need patience. I need new ways to help him calm himself. I need Cam to get the heck out of this new phase.

Some cool developments: He's learning Italian at school and teaching me new words every week. And he's taken up the game of Memory. He's kicking our butts. He has a very clear memory and he LOVES winning. The cool thing about playing Memory is he doesn't cheat. He just plays. And if I win, he congratulates me and we play again. It's a sign that there's a maturing kid in there... somewhere.


Worst part about a sick day

Cam and I are sitting in the basement taking it easy... he's eating a bit more and we'll see how he tolerates it. But here's the worst part about a sick day: Commercials.

Everytime something new and cool shows up: "Mom! Get that for me!" "Mom I want that!!" "I know! I'll ask Santa for that!" "Mom, get that for my birthday!"

He must be feeling better.


I never knew I'd be happy about that

So I was at school feeding the baby when Cam's teacher walks in to tell me that Cam had a fever. Poor buddy. So I went to the lobby to find him crying. He just felt crummy. I carried him to the car and he was so sad and icky feeling. I was about to go home when I realized that all of my work stuff was still at work... I could keep working at home if I had my computer. So I quickly drove to work to grab the computer. The moment we got there I realized Cam was going to throw up... The big question was when. So I ran in, grabbed the computer and yelled to Randy to let him know his son was about to spew.

I ran back to the van and he had just started throwing up. Poor buddy. I tried to clean him up a little and clean the van a little and we headed home. Cam started commenting about how great he felt. But it wasn't just a few minutes later when he started looking bad. Really bad. So I pulled over to try and help him. Then I realized, I was just prolonging the obvious. He was going to throw up again in the van... Nothing I can do. SO I ran into the van and drove home as quickly as I could. Poor buddy threw up again. I just tried to tell him he was going to be okay. But here's the killer moment. I was making sure he was okay when he said: "I'm sorry Mommy."

You're sorry? Poor baby. I made sure he knew I wasn't mad, there was nothing he could have done. I just wanted to hug his soggy, stinky little body.

And what was going on in my mind the whole time? I'm lucky to be dealing with my throwing up baby. After going to the funeral of a 17 year old yesterday, everything I do with my children is a gift. Even throwing up. I tried to hold onto that perspective during the van clean up as Cameron took a nap.


First basketball game

I tried to get pictures... But Daddy forgot he had the camera. Anyway. Yesterday Cam and his Dad went to the boy's first college basketball game. From Dad's report, Cam had a great time eating the food, playing with the seats and watching about half of the game. They stayed until the Tigers hit 100 points. It was a pretty big blowout.

When Cam came home he told me that the Tigers ate the bad guys. I'm not sure what that means. Very strange.

Today I tried to have fun with the kids while Dad took a bunch of students to Kansas City. Instead, most of the day was spent with Cameron complaining, whining or being sent to his room. I'm pretty bummed about it. I'll be honest, a cloud of sadness is hanging over me while I try to ingest the death of our general manager's teenage daughter. I'm deeply sad for him and want to just hold my kids close. Then Cam continued to be rebellious and disrespectful throughout the day. I'm lucky to even have a bad day with my child. But it was extra exhausting today.

A good moment that I hope I'll keep in my mind for a long time: Cam was showing Jordan how to play with a drum when Jordan just scootched into Cam and they ended up having a cuddle hug. Cam wrapped his Buzz Lightyear arms around her and gave her a squeeze. It was so sweet. (And yes, Cam wore the costume for most of the day)


Halloween isn't over!

Cam isn't ready to let go of the Halloween excitement. Last night when I put him to bed, he told me: "Halloween isn't over. Tomorrow is Halloween two." I think he's seen too many sequels.

I decided arguing with him wouldn't be worth it, especially when he needed to go to bed. So I just moved on... But he woke up this morning telling me how Halloween isn't over. I explained that it's November now. Cam decided "that isn't fair!" He was unhappy that the candy wasn't sitting around for breakfast and he was very unhappy that he couldn't wear his costume to school. I actually had to peel him out of it right before he left because he just HAD to sneak up to his room and wear it a little.

Ahhhh. The let down after Halloween can be so rough.