Emotional guy

Cam has had a tough time rejoining the family since his trip to his grandparents house. He's been very emotional. VERY emotional.

I think I may be to blame. I've let him surf the web on kid sites while he spent time in the newsroom with me at work. So he's enjoyed a brainless, non-involved time on his own. So I've tried to get him out and about at least for a little while each day. That still didn't seem to be enough to improve the whining and complaining at home. On Friday I took him out for the morning to go on a bike ride on the local bike trail and go to a park with water sprayers and a playground. I packed a lunch and everything. I was excited. I really want to bike more and it's so cool to have Cam on his bike now... Until he had to pass a person on the trail. It freaked him out and he decided he didn't want to bike. Tantrum on the trail. It was rough. I ended up pulling his access to the work computer and he snapped out of it. THEN we had fun. We enjoyed lunch, water and running around. Biking back tot he car was even great. I just don't know how to deal with his moods.

I think some of it has to do with his teeth. Those molars are moving and his front teeth are wiggling. He's lost four bottom teeth and two have poked through. He isn't sleeping as well and he's cranky. It's kind of like Cameron is the six year old version of his 4 months teethingn self. I just want to hug him when I don't want to jump off the roof when he's crying and screaming.

I'm not going to dwell on this... But someone at the university mentioned that I should consider testing Cam for ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). I'm very uncomfortable even thinking about considering treating Cam with drugs. We see so many students who are medicated. I had a friend in college who went off his long-term ADD medication while we were in school. He was so messed up. Anyway, it does confound me at times when Cameron is so highly sensitive to the smallest things and he's six years old. It made sense when he was two or three, but I'm sure it's not right for his age.

I am starting to figure it out

My boy is desperate for more one-on-one time. He has been extra emotional and highly defiant.

It is a combination:
1. I need some more alone time with my boy.
2. I need to accept the fact that he is sensitive. He is emotional. It is just that way and I need to accept it.

Classic neighborhood day

I had to get Cam away from the Wii this morning, but once he was out, he decided to invite a neighborhood kid over to play. This kid is such a sweetie and the two boys got along really well. This friend is more than a year younger than Cam but that didn't seem to matter at all. It was nice to see Cam play with a neighbor nicely. There's another kid nearby who just doesn't mix well with Cam. It was good to see that Cam can play with a neighbor without someone breaking out into high level anger.

Cam ended up playing with the other kid for a short time this afternoon as well. It was short enough to prevent a lot of screaming.

But all in all, it was a classic neighborhood day. You have to push to get our neighborhood to flow socially. We live on a rolling hill street. There's enough privacy in our yards that you can seclude yourself in the backyard and not seek out friends. So you really need to get out and say hello to encourage social stuff. I'm not comfortable letting Cam wander around in the neighborhood on his own yet. I know that's crazy, but I'm like that.

By the way. The out of control protests at dinner continue. Tonight's freak out was over corn on the cob. At some point, I told Cam he was going to eat it when he yelled: "No I ain't!"

No I ain't?

Woah. That's not going to work under my roof.

By the way. While Cam was freaking out, Jordan was eating her corn and declaring: "I eat it. I like it."

Wii fun for Kindergarteners

Cameron and his very good friend got to hang out today -- They haven't seen each other much since they started Kindergarten at different schools. But I tell you, the Wii brings kids together. They had a blast competing in sports and Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz. It's really fun to see Cam play with another kid his age without falling out and crying when he loses something. He won a bunch of stuff too... So that helped.

Unfortunately, Cam's excitement kept him from maintaining his self control for the rest of the night. The screaming and tantrums returned. But I know he's going to figure out that it doesn't work. Some day he will realize that crying won't keep us from turning off the Wii, or making him eat dinner. or telling him to go to bed, or telling him to clean up... or... whatever you can think of. Someday... Some day he will realize that crying doesn't work.

Some day.

Tonight he told me another chapter of Boo and Chowder -- It was all about the two going to a Foo Fighters concert. He was watching the Grammys before bedtime... And he was mad that we wouldn't let him stay up to watch the Foo Fighters perform.

So that's why we stay home most days

It was a holiday... The kids got to stay home but I had to work a bit in the morning and this evening. Either way, I had the middle of the day to play. Once the kids napped (Cameron kind of half-napped, half-threw a tantrum), we set out to take a bike ride. Cam and Randy had bikes, I pushed Jordan in a stroller. I have yet to set up the baby bike trailer, but that will happen soon.

Anyway. I crave getting out on our local trails more. So I was looking forward to it even though I was a bit cranky from the challenges with Cam and my long day. The start of the bike ride/walk didn't go so well. Cameron was instantly freaked out about falling down, losing control or anything else he could cry and scream about on his bike. I know he's a careful guy, but we really want to push him to trust in himself. Pedaling isn't a death sentence!

About a mile and a half, he calmed down, pedaled hard, whined less and even went down a hill fast enough to get back up the next hill. It was exhausting. I just wish I could come up with ways to skip the screaming and crying and go straight to relaxing and having fun. It's the same thing with food. When he gets past the screaming and belief that the foreign food is horrible, he often likes it. It's a pattern I can't seem to beat.

Again?

I'm heading into a long weekend of family fun... And our dinner tonight was miserable. Cameron decided that he would return to the crying over vegetables tactic.

I turned the tables onto him.

He just wouldn't eat his peas and he just couldn't handle the fact that his sister had earned a yummy roll, milk and a Thin Mint. So he thought he could get that stuff by crying. So I let him choose: eat the peas now or eat them for breakfast? That made him cry more.

The peas are waiting for him when he comes down for that morning.

The morning will be interesting. Very interesting.

Cam's stuff

Cam has a new thing he's doing. He found a pad of post-it notes. So he takes his pencil and labels things in the basement: Cam's TV, Cam's desk, Cam's couch, Cam's shelf, Cam's door, Cam's books. He writes some of them by himself. Others he asks how to spell it. There are yellow tags all over the place.

I think it's awesome.

It wasn't that long ago when I couldn't get him to write to save my life. It's awesome.

Cam has also been really excited about using his scissors. But today he took it too far and I'm going to have to restrict his scissor use. He sliced his jacket. I think he was testing the power of his scissors... And he was surprised to discover that scissors will cut things that aren't paper. So surprised that he SCREAMED and SCREAMED in his room. When he emerged (I was in the bathroom with Jordan who had enjoyed a HILARIOUS bath full of giggles and splashes) he apologized to me. I hugged him, asked him if he learned a lesson... And now I'm going to need to go to a fabric store to find an iron-on patch.

HSM Drama

So tonight we decided to try Cam's new obsession with High School Musical to get him to eat vegetables. Randy announced to me earlier today that he had to put a stop to our constant High School Musical music listening because he keeps catching himself humming to the music. And he wants it to stop.

I think he figured out how to make it stop. Tonight we tried to encourage Cameron to stop crying at dinner. I decided to offer him the chance to earn the Charlotte's Web DVD (the original movie) if he could go 5 straight dinners without crying. Every night he's decided to cry over vegetable eating. He cries if I spoon the vegetables on his plate. He cries if he's told he has to eat a vegetable or he will miss ice cream or cookie opportunities. He cries. He cries. He cries. It's annoying. So we put this new carrot (ha, get it? carrot? it's a vegetable!!) in front of him. He was ready. I spooned vegetables on his plate and he didn't cry. We discussed him eating the peas and carrots. He didn't cry. But then Cam asked if I would turn on High School Musical. That's when Randy said: "Only if you eat one pea and one carrot." That set off a MASSIVE crying jag. He had to go to his room and cry. Then he came back and told me that I couldn't listen to the music unless he can. I told him that wasn't how it worked.... And the crying just kept going. He was still crying when I needed to put Jordan to bed. But I decided Cam was going first. And he cried and cried and cried. He cried so much that he lost his chance to say his prayer and get a nighttime lullaby from Mommy (which includes back scratches). He was a disaster.

Jordan eventually got to go to bed. Cameron eventually went to bed too. But it just wasn't much fun.

Hopefully tomorrow he'll try harder. I kind of want to listen to High School Musical again with him. It's too fun to watch him dance around in the kitchen.

What is going on?

I don't know what is going on with the boy. We struggled with his rebellion to us. It drove us nuts. He got better at home, but now he's really doing poorly at school. He had notes sent home two days in a row. Today was the kicker. He got to go to his first theater class today. I was excited. He was excited. We talked about listening to the teacher and treating his new friends with respect. He was ready. I dropped him off and I was confident he was going to do a great job. I mean, Cameron is everything about drama, right?

Not yet.

I get there and he's crying in the corner with the teacher. Apparently Cam had been put into time out twice in the hour and a half he was there. He was fooling around with a new friend when it happened the first time. The second time he was sitting in a "duck, duck, goose" circle and kept poking at a new friend. He was told to stop multiple times, but he didn't until he was put into time out again.

It's like anytime he's told to do anything, he won't do it unless he is threatened, spoken to loudly or is given a consequence. I realize this is a normal problem with kids, but it seems like Cam's is magnified. And for him to blow his first day at theater class just bums me out. He is perfect for theater. He could really use the energy release. And his teacher tells me that if Cam continues this way, he won't get to be a part of the performance. We told Cam if he continues this way, he won't get to return to class. Now I understand how parents feel when they invest into something and then their kid walks away from it.

So Cam is on notice. He has to clean up the act or he isn't even going to get to prove himself in class next Saturday. I took him up for his nap with no complaints. We'll see what happens in the next week. But I'll tell you, I'm exhausted from the emotional relase. I'm so disappointed. I'm not sure why I'm so deeply disappointed. Cam is 4 years old. I can't expect him to be perfect. But I guess I expected him to love this class. And I guess I was wrong. Heck, the teacher said anytime she asked Cam to try something, he immediately said: "I can't." It's just strange. And I can't be inside Cam's head to really know what's going on. But I'll say, I'm exhausted. And I'm not even halfway through with this weekend.

Figuring it out

I think we're finally figuring out how to help Cam calm down. he's really good at doing things with motivation. So I figured out a new way to use our reward board in the kitchen. It was first used to help Cam earn TV time. Now it's just assumed that he has to get dressed, hold no tantrums and eat his dinner to earn TV time. So I added a new reward board to get him to Disney. But it didn't work really well. When we got back from our Florida trip, Cam told me he wanted to earn a trip to somewhere... So we decided on a place called Bonkers: It's a life-sized hamster run for kids. It's a loud place, but kids can really get some energy out there. I created a board where he had to earn smiley faces: 5 for being respectful, 5 for flushing (it's a skill he just hasn't picked up) and 5 for cleaning up. He was able to put that off in time for a trip to Bonkers today. And the greatest thing has come from this week. He's truly motivated. He starts into a rude or disrespectful behavior and he stops because he doesn't want to lose a smile. Even after the Bonkers trip, he flushed the toilet. He apologized for being rude. I think we may have broke through the bad attidude. And the basement is still clean. It helps that his Poppy built a massive toy bin to keep the kids' toys. The sad thing is it's full. It's very full.

I can only hope.

Cam has brought back the old afraid to be alone issue. I'm not sure why. He's also having some trouble being nice to his friends at school after his time away. His teacher says he's playing really well by himself, but when you add another person into the mix, Cam just can't share or be friendly. Hopefully he'll get over that soon.

Why is it so hard?

Cam had such a fantastic day with us today until the end. He woke up with cuddles, he got to hang out with a babysitter... And during that time he even shared some of his breakfast with Jordan! He went to the mall with Jordan and I and he was helpful and sweet. Not to mention, he finally got a pair of Crocs... He's wanted a pair for quite a while. I think I passed on my love of shoes to him. I let him get a pair of yellow shoes. He really wanted them and I am happy to let him figure out his own sense of style... Although I think he picked up his love for the color yellow thanks to the soon-leaving-the-Wiggles lead singer, Greg.

Anyway. After shopping and a visit at the newsroom, he took a nap. It was a solid nap because he woke up all sweaty and groggy, but a bit whiny. But he helped me with a nativity scene craft -- we made a nativity scene out of foam cut out pieces. He helped me make cookies (the pre-made kind). But then dinner came. I made lasagna (the frozen kind) and veggies. Jordan and I gobbled it up. Cam decided lasagna is worth throwing a HUGE fit over. It was silly and I sent him to his room. But he dragged it out so long that he was finally eating while I was putting Jordan to bed. In the end, he only really ate 4 pieces. It was so exhausting and silly. I don't know what he thinks he's going to accomplish with insanity like that.

We are doing something cool... When we went shopping, I bought him a copy of Charlotte's Web. I told him that we'll read that book together before he can go see the new version of the book in the movie theaters. So we've read 4 chapters so far and he's so excited. The last thing he told me before going to bed (on try number three) was how he can't wait to read more about Charlotte. He also says he likes spiders now... We'll see when he comes face to face with a real one.

One other Cam moment. While we were in the mall, he noticed a movie poster hanging from the rafters. He said: "Mom, look: Eragon." I look up and it was right. I don't even know what Eragon is, but my boy read it and I'm guessing her pronounced it properly. I asked him how he knew about it, he shrugged, "I don't know. I read it." How did he read it? He's really figuring it out! It's incredible. His reading knowledge is growing so rapidly. What fun!