Emotional guy

Cam has had a tough time rejoining the family since his trip to his grandparents house. He's been very emotional. VERY emotional.

I think I may be to blame. I've let him surf the web on kid sites while he spent time in the newsroom with me at work. So he's enjoyed a brainless, non-involved time on his own. So I've tried to get him out and about at least for a little while each day. That still didn't seem to be enough to improve the whining and complaining at home. On Friday I took him out for the morning to go on a bike ride on the local bike trail and go to a park with water sprayers and a playground. I packed a lunch and everything. I was excited. I really want to bike more and it's so cool to have Cam on his bike now... Until he had to pass a person on the trail. It freaked him out and he decided he didn't want to bike. Tantrum on the trail. It was rough. I ended up pulling his access to the work computer and he snapped out of it. THEN we had fun. We enjoyed lunch, water and running around. Biking back tot he car was even great. I just don't know how to deal with his moods.

I think some of it has to do with his teeth. Those molars are moving and his front teeth are wiggling. He's lost four bottom teeth and two have poked through. He isn't sleeping as well and he's cranky. It's kind of like Cameron is the six year old version of his 4 months teethingn self. I just want to hug him when I don't want to jump off the roof when he's crying and screaming.

I'm not going to dwell on this... But someone at the university mentioned that I should consider testing Cam for ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). I'm very uncomfortable even thinking about considering treating Cam with drugs. We see so many students who are medicated. I had a friend in college who went off his long-term ADD medication while we were in school. He was so messed up. Anyway, it does confound me at times when Cameron is so highly sensitive to the smallest things and he's six years old. It made sense when he was two or three, but I'm sure it's not right for his age.

Boo and Chowder

This week, Cameron has been making up a chapter book in his head. Instead of reading something during bed time, he tells me a chapter about the adventures of "Boo and Chowder." Boo is a monster and Chowder is his friend who is a boy. The chapters include quotes like:

"I don't want to scare you. I want to be your friend," Boo said.

"I guess I could be your friend," said Chowder.

It's classic. If I could secretly bring in an audio recorder, I'd try to keep track of this story. It's very cute. I'm also impressed with the complexity of his story so far.

Cameron has been extra emotional around me lately. He wants to play with me... He doesn't want to be alone... He has returned to crying over his food at dinner time. He wines and cries over stupid stuff. Oy. I'm sure there's a correlation between that and how I've been working more than usual.

Crying that doesn't stop

I won't get into the details, but Cam's crying needs to stop and I'm starting to think that I can't help him. I'm too aggravated and I'm afraid that exhaustion and aggravation makes me the wrong person to guide him. I just want it to stop... But we really need to get to the reason.

Here's my theory. After talking to Cam's new teacher, he's upset about anything he does wrong. He's hyper-sensitive to negative input... Nomatter what it is. We have to try and figure out a way for him to feel better about himself, but it's all just so hyper-focused in his world. I wish I could make it easier... But I think my aggravation just makes it harder on him.

Cross your fingers

Tomorrow is another "big day." That's what Cam calls each of his t-ball game days. I'm asking you to cross your fingers because Cam hasn't gone through a game without at least one major emotional breakdown. He thinks he has to catch EVERY ball. He doesn't get this whole team concept. I don't expect him to. But man does he beat himself up.

On Wednesday's game, he either had an emotional breakdown or went the complete opposite way and played with dirt instead.

So just keep your fingers crossed.

I need to consult the "raising a boy" books

I've mentioned before how Cam has been strangely weepy lately. It's exhausting because I don't know the right way to put a stop to it. But things got out of hand this evening. I went to pick him up from school and he immediately started whining about how he wanted to stay at school and it wasn't fair. Then he wouldn't help clean up. Then he got disrespectful to me and the teacher. I wasn't happy. So he cried and cried as we got into the car and most of the way home. Then he whined that he wanted to listen to music. I just quietly drove home because I didn't want to get mad while I drove. No music. As I pulled into the garage he says: "I didn't get to listen to High School Musical.... d****it!"

He used a bad word. It took him 5 years, one month and one day to use a bad word and I'm so sad.

I stopped the car, turned around and looked at him with my death-ray eyes. He started screaming. All out screaming. He started yelling "I didn't know!" "I didn't know!" I threatened the end of favorite toys if he ever used a word like that again and sent him to his room.

Things didn't get better. Dinner was miserable and he'll be eating his broccoli at breakfast tomorrow morning. He ended up going to bed straight from the whiny dinner table to bed. It was all kicking and screaming and disrespect. I won't have it.

I think I need to pull the books I started reading a couple of years ago and really read them. I feel like we're at a turning point developmentally and in how I react to his outbursts. I don't want to put an end to Cam's emotional displays, I just want them to appear for good reason.

Learning respect

I had to take Cameron out of church for the first time... You'd think I would have had to do that when he was a baby. Nope. I had to do it when he was 5. He was being disrespectful and wouldn't sit in the pew. So I took him out, found a pew in a nearby room and we practiced. For 30 minutes he practiced sitting properly. He had a hard time learning that lesson.

I'm trying soooo hard to be patient.

We've moved into this stage where anytime Cam is told to do something on any negative level, he starts to cry. If he doesn't get anything he wants, he starts to cry. If he gets upset over anything, he instantly cries. I'm trying to help him direct his energy... I'm trying to not call him a cry baby... I'm trying to talk to him logically about how there are consequences to his actions. Crying won't stop those consequences. I wish I could help him. Obviously this is a developmental issue that he needs to work on himself. But I also will keep guiding him and helping him see the logic in walking away from the constant crying. But it's going to be up to him.

Again?

I'm heading into a long weekend of family fun... And our dinner tonight was miserable. Cameron decided that he would return to the crying over vegetables tactic.

I turned the tables onto him.

He just wouldn't eat his peas and he just couldn't handle the fact that his sister had earned a yummy roll, milk and a Thin Mint. So he thought he could get that stuff by crying. So I let him choose: eat the peas now or eat them for breakfast? That made him cry more.

The peas are waiting for him when he comes down for that morning.

The morning will be interesting. Very interesting.

Valentines Love

Valentines Love for Cameron
Originally uploaded by Jen.

Cam woke up at 6am this morning because he was so darn excited about Valentine's Day. I gave him my homemade Valentine, baked biscuits for breakfast and had doughnuts with him (and Jordan) at school. Every single thing set him into crying fits early in the day -- A standard sign that he's overwhelmed with his expectations for the moment. By the time I got to school this afternoon for the school party, he seemed okay.

He also officially made it through 5 straight dinners without crying about vegetables or any other silly thing. Hooray. So now he has a chance to watch the original Charlotte's Web animated movie. That was his reward. He's thrilled and I'm just hoping he's quit this crying habit at the dinner table.

I'm exhausted. The combination of early rising 4 (almost 5) year old and a cranky baby has exhausted me.

HSM Drama

So tonight we decided to try Cam's new obsession with High School Musical to get him to eat vegetables. Randy announced to me earlier today that he had to put a stop to our constant High School Musical music listening because he keeps catching himself humming to the music. And he wants it to stop.

I think he figured out how to make it stop. Tonight we tried to encourage Cameron to stop crying at dinner. I decided to offer him the chance to earn the Charlotte's Web DVD (the original movie) if he could go 5 straight dinners without crying. Every night he's decided to cry over vegetable eating. He cries if I spoon the vegetables on his plate. He cries if he's told he has to eat a vegetable or he will miss ice cream or cookie opportunities. He cries. He cries. He cries. It's annoying. So we put this new carrot (ha, get it? carrot? it's a vegetable!!) in front of him. He was ready. I spooned vegetables on his plate and he didn't cry. We discussed him eating the peas and carrots. He didn't cry. But then Cam asked if I would turn on High School Musical. That's when Randy said: "Only if you eat one pea and one carrot." That set off a MASSIVE crying jag. He had to go to his room and cry. Then he came back and told me that I couldn't listen to the music unless he can. I told him that wasn't how it worked.... And the crying just kept going. He was still crying when I needed to put Jordan to bed. But I decided Cam was going first. And he cried and cried and cried. He cried so much that he lost his chance to say his prayer and get a nighttime lullaby from Mommy (which includes back scratches). He was a disaster.

Jordan eventually got to go to bed. Cameron eventually went to bed too. But it just wasn't much fun.

Hopefully tomorrow he'll try harder. I kind of want to listen to High School Musical again with him. It's too fun to watch him dance around in the kitchen.