This new life

I was thinking about the new life we're living now that Cameron is a big brother. It's incredible how another human can change someone so much in so many little, almost unnoticed ways.

I had noticed the bathroom thing. He's getting up in the middle of the night when he needs to. He still is... It's been a month and he just does it. We never asked him, he just does it. When he wants to, he gets dressed all by himself. Sometimes he does it quick enough to not hear me pester him to hurry up. He doesn't complain when we get him to rush so he can leave for school with Daddy instead of Mommy. He can play by himself if he needs to... He makes up stories and pretends in fabulous ways.

Tonight, he was singing songs for me... It was so cool. When we were getting ready for bed, he broke into a song I had no idea he knew... And we ended singing: "I love you!" and pointed at each other through the mirror. It was cool.

When I hold Cameron's hand, it feels so wide and sturdy. I know it's because I hold Jordan's petite hand so often these days.

Cam still really enjoys my lullabies. I stroke his head when I sing to him, and he smiles this content smile... Like he really knows how much I love him... Even after all the arguments and fights. Tonight, we didn't fight about his dinner. He just didn't eat it. He understood he wouldn't get dessert and just dealt with it. That's another sign of his growth -- He's starting to accept the consequences of his decisions.

I miss my baby Cam. I'm so proud of my big boy.